I fancy guys but the thought of having doesnt appeal to me?

If it's any consolation, Catch. is a male and at 38 is still not 100% comfortable about gay (his first time experience being similar to yours in that it was really painful...Yes I know you're a woman but we're all the same species at the end of the day and the situation is comparable). Anyway, I think the counselling would be a really good idea for you - I went to RELATE myself...it's not just for couples but for anyone with any relationship difficulties, including being unable to form them like you and I. Don't feel silly. You should bear in mind that there are probably also people with much LESS important things to talk about too. If it's a big deal to you and is making you miserable, then it's important, OK? x John/Catch.